Sunday Offering: Why I quit drinking

This picture really has nothing to do with why I quit drinking… although… I had been drinking. Can ya tell? Don’t answer that 😉

January 3, 2018 I took my last drink of alcohol. Not even really knowing it was my last drink. My relationship with alcohol has always been pretty black and white… drunk or not drunk. I don’t want a glass of wine with my meal. I don’t want a nice tequila to sip on for a while. Nope. I’ll take the bottle of red… maybe 2… and I’ll have a shot… ok, maybe 2. I’ve never drank every day. Never had a problem with turning down a drink. But when I do drink… it’s to actually DRINK. 

In the past, I’ve made some pretty questionable decisions while drinking… nothing major but still… questionable. Let my emotions take over. Ate too much late night food. Maybe made an unsolicited phone call a time or two. Maybe listed an item in my home on Craigslist without remembering the next day when the individual called to come get it… You know? All the things you naturally do when your decision making skills have been altered. And the hangovers… whew. As I have gotten older, they are the worst. Bad headache, sick feeling, irritable, anxious and depressed.

Late 2017, I started to take some inventory of this stuff… and I decided I would just not drink away from home. I’d drink at home but not at a bar… where I had unlimited access to alcohol and unlimited access to fast food… and unlimited access to strangers I could befriend and form a new girl gang with… ha! So that’s what I did for a few months. And it was fine. Then, January 3, 2018… I had a sweet friend over… and we drank… a lot of wine… a… lot… of… wine. The next day, I felt terrible, per the usual.

I had a gathering at my house a few days later. All the gals were drinking and I just didn’t want a drink. I still felt sort of queasy from that previous bender and so I abstained. And then the next gathering… same thing. A month went by without drinking and I felt a little more in control of my life. A little. I don’t want to exaggerate this at all. But I did feel like… man, I can just not drink. I can just not do this thing that I’ve always done that makes me feel pretty bad in the end but I just do it because I’ve always done it. I can NOT do that thing.

And so I stopped doing that thing. I stopped doing something that made me feel a little excited for a little amount of time and then made me feel out of control and then physically bad and then anxious. I just stopped doing that thing.

And it feels good. It feels good to get up on a Sunday morning… or any morning… and not feel bad. And if I do feel bad, it’s not because of something I chose to do. It’s maybe just because I have a headache or something. 

It feels good to say “I’m not going to do this thing.” And actually NOT DOING THAT THING! That’s probably the main thing that being sober has taught me. I can stop doing things that I ”enjoy” because they don’t serve me anymore.

So today, my offering to you… is to encourage you to take some inventory on things that don’t serve you. Even if those things are things you “enjoy”. You’d be surprised how good it makes you feel.

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