Ok, that title could sound weird… and of course that picture is weird but I like this message. I think it’s one we all need to hear… especially today.
Have you ever had a moment where you realized “past self” took care of “future self”? I’ll give you some examples so you know what I mean. These past couple of weeks, I have literally had so many of these realizations. Realizations that I have done something… when I thought I hadn’t. That I can trust myself… when I thought I couldn’t. That I did follow through… when I thought I didn’t.
You guys. These times are stressful and stress can do weird things. It can make you forget things. It can make your brain foggy. It can make you feel like you haven’t done anything right.
I’m here to tell you… you have! You just may need to look a little harder to realize it… pay a little more attention to those winks that your past self is sending you… and maybe even write it down… so when you have those days that you feel like you just can’t get it right… you can go back and remind yourself of how many times you do get it right!
My realizations range from important to not so important. From great big relief to mere convenience. From taxes to toilet paper. So, here they are….
- When the pandemic started and everyone ran out and bought all of the toilet paper, I was like… Dang, are we ok? Are we out? Did I miss the chance to buy it? What will our boarding clients do when they come to the farm to visit their horses? What will WE do? Panic set in! And then I remembered, a couple of weeks before that, we were a little low on paper products for the barn and the house (meaning like less than a big Costco pack for each) so I made a Costco run and stocked everything up. Past Melissa knew that the spring was our busy time, that we had tons of events coming up and that going ahead and making that Costco run to stock up on toilet paper and paper towels for the house and the barn would just be one less thing I had to do in that busyness. Y’all, the relief! The relief to know that we would be ok. That we didn’t have to even deal with that mess! I didn’t know we would soon enter a pandemic and toilet paper would be the hottest commodity. I just knew, we were low-ish, we’d be super busy the next few months… and I should just go ahead and take that off my list.
Past Melissa took care of future Melissa.
- Most all of you know that Evan and I own several small businesses. Four to be exact. Two of the four are 100% devastated by the shelter-in-place order. The photo booth and the event center. Neither can operate without mass gatherings. So as I sat down a few nights ago to see what type of small business assistance there was, the first thing I found specifically said “If you did not file business taxes in 2018 or 2019, you do not qualify.” My stomach sank. My skin got clammy. My heart all racey. Again, let me say, we have 4 small businesses. Taxes are a nightmare! And with Evan and I having only gotten married 3 years ago… I am constantly behind on taxes. Extensions for extensions… always. It’s just not my skill set. But I am the one that keeps the books. I just knew we would not qualify. My insecurity and procrastination had finally caught up with me. And then, I pulled up our taxes. I had filed for 2018. I HAD FILED FOR 2018!!! It was only then that I remembered being so proud of myself for being caught up on our taxes. I had taken the time early last year… weeks, long nights, stacks of papers and receipts… and gotten every business caught up on the taxes. You would think I’d never forget something like that… but I had. We all do.
Past Melissa took care of future Melissa.
- Evan loves Miracle Whip. I’m a mayo gal but I support him in his condiment decisions. This may sound silly but last week, we had already made our big grocery haul for the month (not our normal practice but necessity during this time) and I realized… he was out of Miracle Whip. Why didn’t I check it? Why didn’t I put it on the list? Sandwiches are a daily meal these days.. Would we literally have to make a special trip just for Miracle Whip? And then, this little part of me was like… wait… I think there is a jar in the pantry. And low and behold… in the back of the pantry, behind everything else… a brand new jar of Miracle Whip. And again… I remembered being at the store months ago and just thinking… I’ve got a little extra money and some space in the pantry… I’ll just buy one of each of our favorite condiments. Just in case there is a day that I forget to put it on the list and we run out. Y’all… that day came!
Past Melissa took care of future Melissa… well, actually Evan. Past Melissa took care of future Evan. But whatever.
I have more… I have more stories!
About the time Kasey Musgraves was coming to Dallas.. playing a smaller venue that I sort of had a hunch she’d never play again… and I was like… you know what, I should buy tickets. She hadn’t blown up yet. It was right before her Grammy sweep. I could probably get a couple from her but also… they were cheap… I should just buy some. So, a year before that date… I bought tickets. A year later, and how ever many awards later… that venue was sold out. She added another night… sold out. I knew I had 2 tickets. I did remember buying those but as my friends scoured around looking for tickets, I went to check mine… and I had bought 4!!! 2 for me and Evan and 2 for friends. Past Melissa had taken care of future Melissa… and Evan… and her two friends!
And the time I bought a jar of yeast instead of the little packages… because I thought, I know I’m not a bread maker… but one day I may be… and I won’t ever want to run out of yeast. And then 2 weeks ago… when everyone needed yeast to bake all their bread at home and all the stores were sold out… I had yeast! Past Melissa took care of future Melissa.
I talked to a few of my nearest and dearest about this today. I wondered if they ever had those same realizations. I loved their stories… from my one friend who decided a few months ago that she needed to throw away all of her underwear and start over. She deserved nice, comfortable, fitting underwear that would make her feel good everyday when she put them on. And here she is, 3 months later, looking forward to getting dressed… every morning… even in a time where she works from home with her 6 year old and husband. That little thing. Underwear that fits well. Her past self took care of her future self.
And my other friend… who looks back and realizes that months of “fighting” for her place in the house that her partner previously shared with his ex-wife, has made a huge huge difference in this quarantine time. She has HER space. That house is her home. Her home that she now, literally spends every minute in. Her past self was not wrong in acting on those feelings of insecurity. Her past self knew there was more to it than just wanting to repaint the kitchen and organize the drawers. Her past self really really took care of her future self.
Do these stories resonate with you? Do you ever have moments like this when you’re like… “Oh my goodness! I did that! I forgot I did or I didn’t really know why, but I did. Good job, me!”
Give yourself that credit. Mark that down in the “things I did right” category. Take those realizations and let them fuel you when you feel like you haven’t done enough. Sit back and rest in those. Because I promise you, sis, you have done enough. You can trust yourself. You do get things done. You do act on gut instinct… and you’re right!
I love you , friends. Keep on keeping on. I know these days are tough… but so are you.